i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
