FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
