..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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