What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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