Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
