U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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