Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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