let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Randomize