Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
