Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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