why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
