You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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