Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dicks are not precious.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
