Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
why is half of my head shaved?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
