In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
