That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
