I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
