i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
