You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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