Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
