are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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