i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
