cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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