THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
