Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
