Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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