hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
