Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
