Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
