we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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