BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
