so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
