THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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