Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
