marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
