I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
