I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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