i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
