Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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