Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
