I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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