I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
