Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
this hospital has no fireball
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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