i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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