The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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