Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
