Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
