Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
