You can't motorboat a personality
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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