It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
